26 April 2011
Done.
When the coping mechanisms now only fail and there is nothing left to hold on to, you're..... lost.
12 April 2011
To do.
I have so many plans to make plans or just plans.
1. See the musical one day this weekend
2. See Brivell at Birdie's Friday night
3. Have a movie night thing with Bekka
4. Celebrate bacon and eat bufriedos with Shannon
5. Walk to Laura's?
6. See Something Borrowed with Katie?
7. I never had that sleepover with Richard and Savannah
I like links. Don't judge me.
1. See the musical one day this weekend
2. See Brivell at Birdie's Friday night
3. Have a movie night thing with Bekka
4. Celebrate bacon and eat bufriedos with Shannon
5. Walk to Laura's?
6. See Something Borrowed with Katie?
7. I never had that sleepover with Richard and Savannah
I like links. Don't judge me.
11 April 2011
Songs
I'm going to make a list of songs that have a LOT of meaning behind it, not just the meaning of the song but with other people in my life and stuff that most people don't know.
I only have a few on the top of my mind so I will just add to the list as I realize them.
1. Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol
2. Don't Wake Me- Skillet
3. Little Piece of Heaven- Avenged Sevenfold
I only have a few on the top of my mind so I will just add to the list as I realize them.
1. Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol
2. Don't Wake Me- Skillet
3. Little Piece of Heaven- Avenged Sevenfold
10 April 2011
productivity
Teresa needs to become a better person in all areas. So I am going to.
So I need to start actually doing my school work so I can get an A in AP bio instead of a 70.2
I know I can get an A in there... I just NEVER pay attention in class then NEVER read or do any of my work. It's bad. But if I pay attention and do my work I will get a good grade then all will be well.
Anatomy will require a little more work and studying (so dumb) but I need to get a good grade in there, too. Hey... I don't mind going in there for flex every day if I have to. What? There isn't anyone special in that advisory... nobody at all. So I am going to actually start doing my work.
Also, I am way too attached and addicted to electronic devices so I figured that, since my service is temporarily ended anyway, I will just go a little bit without service and if I need to contact someone I will try to call or facebook them. People can have my house number if they need to call me. People have survived years this way, I can, too. I think.
There are general Teresa needs to be nicer to people things. I plan on not going to my friends with my problems anymore. I feel like it's been annoying everyone and people are getting tired of hearing me complain about my life. So... whatever.
I get really upset when all of my friends are out hanging out with each other and this happens for a few days and I try contacting them to make plans but they are too busy with other people so I can't even just talk to them so I start feel alone and hated and.... very dramatic.
I really do need to start practicing more, too. I don't know why I don't. I enjoy playing.
Well there is the whole I am never able to practice becuase my parents are sleeping or sick or... whatever.
I really need to get my NHS crap done. Soon.
Along with Towson stuffs.
So much stuff to do :p
Except not really.
I just don't do anything.
I think I am going to start taking frequent walks through the woods behind my house. It passes the time, it's actually pretty legit exercise, I could talk to people's houses, it's good to be outside more, I can look and feel better, ect.
I feel like I'm drifting away from everyone and I can't stand it. I also feel like there is nothing I can do about it.
This is the most spazzy post.
Also, since I can't use my phone and I am forced off the computer at ten, I will probably have a better and healthier sleep schedule.
This past week was horrible. The worst I can recall ever having. Even through periods of my dad going through withdraws and my parents not talking and deaths. This... is the worst. I honestly can barely remember anything from the first half of the week. It is all a blur, I did nothing. i was barely even online I did no school work- not even IN class. I had horrible semi-conscious thoughts. I started tearing up randomly so many times. The most nu m b I have ever been. Then I started being less numb but instead started being really depressed and lonely and cynical. Now I just... don't even give a fuck about anything.
Yay bad words xD
SO ANYWAY. I just had to get that out. Sorry.
SO the whole point of this blog: I am going to have a new daily routine.
School
Facebook, tumblr, e-mail, ect. (just see updates and stuff)
Homework (even if it's long term some progress must be made)
Practice
Walk/secretly visit people
Relax
Sleep
This is obviously not going to stay just like that every day. But.... ya know, it's a start.
And then when I get a job everything will change. Whatever xD
So I need to start actually doing my school work so I can get an A in AP bio instead of a 70.2
I know I can get an A in there... I just NEVER pay attention in class then NEVER read or do any of my work. It's bad. But if I pay attention and do my work I will get a good grade then all will be well.
Anatomy will require a little more work and studying (so dumb) but I need to get a good grade in there, too. Hey... I don't mind going in there for flex every day if I have to. What? There isn't anyone special in that advisory... nobody at all. So I am going to actually start doing my work.
Also, I am way too attached and addicted to electronic devices so I figured that, since my service is temporarily ended anyway, I will just go a little bit without service and if I need to contact someone I will try to call or facebook them. People can have my house number if they need to call me. People have survived years this way, I can, too. I think.
There are general Teresa needs to be nicer to people things. I plan on not going to my friends with my problems anymore. I feel like it's been annoying everyone and people are getting tired of hearing me complain about my life. So... whatever.
I get really upset when all of my friends are out hanging out with each other and this happens for a few days and I try contacting them to make plans but they are too busy with other people so I can't even just talk to them so I start feel alone and hated and.... very dramatic.
I really do need to start practicing more, too. I don't know why I don't. I enjoy playing.
Well there is the whole I am never able to practice becuase my parents are sleeping or sick or... whatever.
I really need to get my NHS crap done. Soon.
Along with Towson stuffs.
So much stuff to do :p
Except not really.
I just don't do anything.
I think I am going to start taking frequent walks through the woods behind my house. It passes the time, it's actually pretty legit exercise, I could talk to people's houses, it's good to be outside more, I can look and feel better, ect.
I feel like I'm drifting away from everyone and I can't stand it. I also feel like there is nothing I can do about it.
This is the most spazzy post.
Also, since I can't use my phone and I am forced off the computer at ten, I will probably have a better and healthier sleep schedule.
This past week was horrible. The worst I can recall ever having. Even through periods of my dad going through withdraws and my parents not talking and deaths. This... is the worst. I honestly can barely remember anything from the first half of the week. It is all a blur, I did nothing. i was barely even online I did no school work- not even IN class. I had horrible semi-conscious thoughts. I started tearing up randomly so many times. The most nu m b I have ever been. Then I started being less numb but instead started being really depressed and lonely and cynical. Now I just... don't even give a fuck about anything.
Yay bad words xD
SO ANYWAY. I just had to get that out. Sorry.
SO the whole point of this blog: I am going to have a new daily routine.
School
Facebook, tumblr, e-mail, ect. (just see updates and stuff)
Homework (even if it's long term some progress must be made)
Practice
Walk/secretly visit people
Relax
Sleep
This is obviously not going to stay just like that every day. But.... ya know, it's a start.
And then when I get a job everything will change. Whatever xD
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