There is only one person in this world
who can make me feel amazing and special and beautiful one moment
then the next moment- alone, hopeless, never better than second best.
Only one person who can always make me smile
with a simple word or gesture.
Only one person who can't be limited
in my heart and mind.
Only one person who has said those 21 words
to me.
The best 21 words.
That made me happier than any other single word.
Individually, they are nothing.
Together, they are everything.
While these 21 words were meant to be true,
their truth will not last long.
I know this, as does their speaker.
They are 21 words of unity.
Of us.
But nothing may be.
Time and tales make it so.
Years of longing, desire
finally
"partially" returned.
But nothing may be
My friend.
Nothing may be.
26 November 2010
16 November 2010
Maddie!
First off, THREE DAYS!
So, for anyone that cares, I had a really really great day. Hilarious, fun, sweet... just such an awesome day.
But now I am home and was still happy. Until I got a text.
It's really hard being positive when one of your best friends is falling apart. You want nothing more than to go and give her a hug and punch the offenders in the face, but you can't.
Because they all live six hours away.
Just because one only know a friend online, does not mean that they are not just as close, of not closer, than any other given friend.
You still talk to them just as much, maybe more. You text and message and share stories and know each others issues, crushes, family, friends, you know all about their life and the people in it. You tell each other just as much if not more than you tell IRL friends. She is one of the two people I can tell absolutely anything to. And I do. She's the only person who will let me rant to her and constantly tell her silly little things throughout my day... without getting annoyed.
When they are upset, it bothers you just as much.
When they are excited, it makes you just as happy.
Whenever something new happens, she is usually the first person I go to.
If not the first, I definitely tell her shortly after.
Don't tell me that it's not a real friendship. Or that people should not start relationships over the internet.
I'm not the only one. Niether is she.
People meet friends that are like sisters, or brothers, and that stay in their lives forever.
Some of them just happen to be done online.
They have fights, they go through phases of friendship.
They just happened to stumble upon the same website on the same day.
They just happened to keep finding each other after periods of conversation.
They just happened to find a way to start talking everyday.
They, not so coincidentally, grew from talking about a love for a book to talking about everything that is anything, and many things that arn't.
They became best friends.
They have never met, and are not sure if they ever will.
But that's the only think that stops them from having a "normal" friendship.
From being "normal" best friends.
Now, Shane. You don't know me. I'm not sure if you know who I am. But you better be glad I'm not there.
I don't know why I wrote this.
I don't know why it's so spazzy.
I don't know if anyone will read this.
I don't care if anyone does.
So, for anyone that cares, I had a really really great day. Hilarious, fun, sweet... just such an awesome day.
But now I am home and was still happy. Until I got a text.
It's really hard being positive when one of your best friends is falling apart. You want nothing more than to go and give her a hug and punch the offenders in the face, but you can't.
Because they all live six hours away.
Just because one only know a friend online, does not mean that they are not just as close, of not closer, than any other given friend.
You still talk to them just as much, maybe more. You text and message and share stories and know each others issues, crushes, family, friends, you know all about their life and the people in it. You tell each other just as much if not more than you tell IRL friends. She is one of the two people I can tell absolutely anything to. And I do. She's the only person who will let me rant to her and constantly tell her silly little things throughout my day... without getting annoyed.
When they are upset, it bothers you just as much.
When they are excited, it makes you just as happy.
Whenever something new happens, she is usually the first person I go to.
If not the first, I definitely tell her shortly after.
Don't tell me that it's not a real friendship. Or that people should not start relationships over the internet.
I'm not the only one. Niether is she.
People meet friends that are like sisters, or brothers, and that stay in their lives forever.
Some of them just happen to be done online.
They have fights, they go through phases of friendship.
They just happened to stumble upon the same website on the same day.
They just happened to keep finding each other after periods of conversation.
They just happened to find a way to start talking everyday.
They, not so coincidentally, grew from talking about a love for a book to talking about everything that is anything, and many things that arn't.
They became best friends.
They have never met, and are not sure if they ever will.
But that's the only think that stops them from having a "normal" friendship.
From being "normal" best friends.
Now, Shane. You don't know me. I'm not sure if you know who I am. But you better be glad I'm not there.
I don't know why I wrote this.
I don't know why it's so spazzy.
I don't know if anyone will read this.
I don't care if anyone does.
15 November 2010
Quotes
So... I'm just looking on quote websites because I love to do such a thing... I think I'm going to compile a small list of those that I especially love, find relevant, or seems to be useful for something in the near future.
Gratitude is one of the least articulate of the emotions, especially when it is deep.
~Felix Frankrurter
Never be ashamed! There's some who'll hold it against you, but they're not worth bothering with.
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and must therefore be treated with great caution.
What's coming will come and we'll just have to meet it when it does.
~ J.K.Rowling / Her characters.
~Ellen Glasgow
If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
~Carl Jung
Without music, life would be a mistake.
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
~Maya Angelou
Ignorance is no excuse, it's the real thing.
~Irene Peter
A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived.
~ Willa Cather
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
~Susan Urtz No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow.
~Euripides
If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music.
~Gustav Mahler
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
~Aldous Huxley
Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy.
~Ludwig van Beethoven
Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it.
~John Lennon
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
~Berthole Auerbach
Without music, life would be a mistake.
~Friedrich Nietzsche
A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.
~Robert Frost
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
~Paul Valery
A poet can survive everything but a misprint.
~Oscar Wilde
And... That is all for now. I hope you enjoyed. :3
06 November 2010
Update, Life.
So, Katie asked my to post a while ago and I haven't yet, so... I will now.
So I've been pretty crazy busy these last few weeks.
Marching band has consumed a great amount of my time. We got first place in four of our competitions- including one that resulted in us being 2010 Regional Champions. We've done so three times, once a few years ago and then two years in a row now. We're the only band from Maryland to have even done it one. Oorah? Then our final competition we travel 13 hours to Atlanta and had a few issues and such and it just wasn't our best show, so we didn't make finals. But the trip in general was so much fun, except when awesome people had to deal with stuff they shouldn't have to. So we didn't do as well as I thought we would, but it was a hell of a way to go out my senior year. It was a great season, too. I wish I had next year but I don't and I shouldn't dwell on that. "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." I seriously hate it whenever something (A last__, or mention of it being the last___) happens and one of my non-senior friends comes to console me or tell me how much they'll miss me, or even just joke around about in whatever way. But... it is was it is. It was what it was.
Along with ridiculous schedules with marching band, I've had other bands to deal with. Practice for Wind Ensemble, Jazz Band, Symphonic Band, Concert Band... Sure, I don't HAVE to practice all of that. Some of it's too easy. But whatever. Then there is the other stuff to deal with. Auditions for All County Band was last week and I've been practicing my butt off for that, but then I got in there and nerves got the better of me and... poop. Our one band director was the judge for the trumpets so I was talking to him about it in school today. He found out that his being a judge actually made us nervous and he felt really really bad about it. In a way it was like "Okay, I know he's rooting for me and I know he wants me to good and I know he believes in me and... blah blah blah" But that irrational part of my mind was like "Oh god, I'm so nervous and I know I'm going to screw up and when I do he's going to hear it and know it was me and then he is going to think I suck and.... hguoanggbadjnkutaw" I also asked him if he thinks I got in. He said I'm kinda in between. Like... there are 8 chairs and I'm like 8-10 ish. So... I can only hope. Players from my school also were there and did a lot better than me. Not to sound arrogant, but they arn't better than me, they just didn't get crazy nervous and fail like I did. I wish I could just get one redo. Then I know I would do good and get in. But... oh well. This weekend are the All State auditions. I'm definitely not getting in, but I still need to go in there and try. Then as soon as that's done with I'm going to start preparing for college auditions. I think I'll ask the band directors for a little guidance on what pieces to pick.
FOUR DAYS!!!!
Yeah. Who else is excited for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1?
I'm seeing it at midnight with my mom and sister then right after school with Katie. I'm looking forward to the one with Katie more than I am to the first showing, simply because... I love Katie. And I just realized you all will probably think I only said that because Katie will eventually read this, but that's not the case. It's 100% true.
I'm not worrying about it being the end yet, and you can't make me. Not until July 15, 2011 at midnight. (Release date of Part 2)
I'm kinda in a good mood right now. OotP is on my TV, It's a half day a school, my phone should be coming very very soon, I've been talking to my friend Maddie a lot lately. Over the summer we would often stay up late just talking about all kinds of stuff but we haven't been able to do that because of our busy schedules but we did that again this weekend and it made me... really really happy. I've been talking to this one guy I kinda like a bit recently and that makes me really happy. Yes, you think you know who it is. No, you don't know who it is. No, I will not tell you who it is. Probably.
Yesterday I FINALLY started college applications. I don't know if I'm going to apply to anyplace other than Towson. I'm pretty sure I'm just going there. In the past few years my college research has been done with the mind set that I will be majoring in Biology. Now that I've admitted to myself that I want to major in music, I have to look at schools that have decent music programs but not ones that are out of my league. Towson is the only one I have found so far that the school is not horrible in whichever way. I really want to go to New York University, but they're too good for me. Which is unfortunate. I think I could get in eventually, but I guess I'll just wait. Maybe I'll try transferring there after my sophomore year. But yeah. Yesterday I started my application towards Towson. I still need to write the Essay, and get my GPA. And I have to give the transcript/ guidance counselor recommendation paper to my guidance counselor. And I have not even BEGUN the music program application, so I should probably do that today, along with giving the recommendations to my music teachers. No big deal? So basically what I'm saying is... to all of you underclassmen out there.... Just quit while you're ahead. College is dumb. Don't do it.
Best Wishes!
So I've been pretty crazy busy these last few weeks.
Marching band has consumed a great amount of my time. We got first place in four of our competitions- including one that resulted in us being 2010 Regional Champions. We've done so three times, once a few years ago and then two years in a row now. We're the only band from Maryland to have even done it one. Oorah? Then our final competition we travel 13 hours to Atlanta and had a few issues and such and it just wasn't our best show, so we didn't make finals. But the trip in general was so much fun, except when awesome people had to deal with stuff they shouldn't have to. So we didn't do as well as I thought we would, but it was a hell of a way to go out my senior year. It was a great season, too. I wish I had next year but I don't and I shouldn't dwell on that. "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." I seriously hate it whenever something (A last__, or mention of it being the last___) happens and one of my non-senior friends comes to console me or tell me how much they'll miss me, or even just joke around about in whatever way. But... it is was it is. It was what it was.
Along with ridiculous schedules with marching band, I've had other bands to deal with. Practice for Wind Ensemble, Jazz Band, Symphonic Band, Concert Band... Sure, I don't HAVE to practice all of that. Some of it's too easy. But whatever. Then there is the other stuff to deal with. Auditions for All County Band was last week and I've been practicing my butt off for that, but then I got in there and nerves got the better of me and... poop. Our one band director was the judge for the trumpets so I was talking to him about it in school today. He found out that his being a judge actually made us nervous and he felt really really bad about it. In a way it was like "Okay, I know he's rooting for me and I know he wants me to good and I know he believes in me and... blah blah blah" But that irrational part of my mind was like "Oh god, I'm so nervous and I know I'm going to screw up and when I do he's going to hear it and know it was me and then he is going to think I suck and.... hguoanggbadjnkutaw" I also asked him if he thinks I got in. He said I'm kinda in between. Like... there are 8 chairs and I'm like 8-10 ish. So... I can only hope. Players from my school also were there and did a lot better than me. Not to sound arrogant, but they arn't better than me, they just didn't get crazy nervous and fail like I did. I wish I could just get one redo. Then I know I would do good and get in. But... oh well. This weekend are the All State auditions. I'm definitely not getting in, but I still need to go in there and try. Then as soon as that's done with I'm going to start preparing for college auditions. I think I'll ask the band directors for a little guidance on what pieces to pick.
FOUR DAYS!!!!
Yeah. Who else is excited for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1?
I'm seeing it at midnight with my mom and sister then right after school with Katie. I'm looking forward to the one with Katie more than I am to the first showing, simply because... I love Katie. And I just realized you all will probably think I only said that because Katie will eventually read this, but that's not the case. It's 100% true.
I'm not worrying about it being the end yet, and you can't make me. Not until July 15, 2011 at midnight. (Release date of Part 2)
I'm kinda in a good mood right now. OotP is on my TV, It's a half day a school, my phone should be coming very very soon, I've been talking to my friend Maddie a lot lately. Over the summer we would often stay up late just talking about all kinds of stuff but we haven't been able to do that because of our busy schedules but we did that again this weekend and it made me... really really happy. I've been talking to this one guy I kinda like a bit recently and that makes me really happy. Yes, you think you know who it is. No, you don't know who it is. No, I will not tell you who it is. Probably.
Yesterday I FINALLY started college applications. I don't know if I'm going to apply to anyplace other than Towson. I'm pretty sure I'm just going there. In the past few years my college research has been done with the mind set that I will be majoring in Biology. Now that I've admitted to myself that I want to major in music, I have to look at schools that have decent music programs but not ones that are out of my league. Towson is the only one I have found so far that the school is not horrible in whichever way. I really want to go to New York University, but they're too good for me. Which is unfortunate. I think I could get in eventually, but I guess I'll just wait. Maybe I'll try transferring there after my sophomore year. But yeah. Yesterday I started my application towards Towson. I still need to write the Essay, and get my GPA. And I have to give the transcript/ guidance counselor recommendation paper to my guidance counselor. And I have not even BEGUN the music program application, so I should probably do that today, along with giving the recommendations to my music teachers. No big deal? So basically what I'm saying is... to all of you underclassmen out there.... Just quit while you're ahead. College is dumb. Don't do it.
Best Wishes!
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