This is my little narrative short story thing. It's only the first draft, open and in need of editing. But yeah.
When I was in elementary school, I asked my parents if we could start going to church. At the time, they didn’t give an explanation as to why not. I don’t really know why I wanted to go. Back then, I took everything I was told and accepted it without question. I was told God existed and to honor and worship his supreme being you go to church. I wanted to learn about God. What he can and cannot do, what he and Jesus have done in the past, how he wants us to live our lives. I wanted to know. I wanted to be that good little church girl. When I was told that we were not going to go, I just accepted it as the only option. Now, a few years later, I realize there were other options and I wish one of those could have been the one.
In high school, I met some new people who showed me nobody has to believe something just because society and their parents tell them it’s so. I gained many friend of varying religious beliefs. Some were Catholic, some were Presbyterians, some were Methodist, others Muslims, some more Jewish. Even more than that; many religions were covered among my friends. Some of them were even Atheist. This last group is who got me thinking. They have friends, family, and society telling them to conform to religion- a specific religion, and yet, there is something inside them that just does not agree. They believe what they believe and they don’t care what other people tell them. And there are a lot of people who tell them they are wrong. Those extremely religious people who think everyone should believe in God, and to believe in anything other than him is just unnatural and wrong. These people who believe anything but the most common three of four views is wrong. My friends who differ ignore them. They ignore this close minded opinion of some of their friends, classmates, teachers, family, parents. My parents.
Around the time I made friends with these brave people who don’t feel the need to conform to society, I realized my parents are some of those people who strictly believe in the Bible. And they think to believe in something else is unacceptable. Needless to say, I refuse to tell my parents about my friends’ views, and how they affect me. Having friends who believe what they want and don’t let anyone change that made me realize I don’t have to group myself into a religion just because it’s “normal” and my parents want me to. Not only do I not have to, I shouldn’t. I should not just accept what people tell me to believe. I should figure it out for myself.
It wasn’t something someone can just sit down for a little while and figure out. It’s something to keep on one’s mind as the live their day to day life and when it comes, it comes. For me, it did not come as easy as I thought it would. I lived every day surrounded by many faiths and explanations of the universe. Each one with people faithfully believing that it's true. I listened to them all and accepted them as something people believe, but I never listened to one in a way that it is fact.
I have changed since I was young. I no longer only need to hear something to believe it. I need proof. I can't believe there is an almighty power of God without proof of such. I can not believe there is nothing over humans, either. Not unless there is proof of such. Maybe if I believed this more when I was young and in elementary school, I would have found a way to attend church and I would have formed a belief and knowledge of God. I wish I had. Maybe I would feel I know what is out there and what my life is meant to be.
Maybe I would feel complete. If there is a God, though, this must be what he meant for my life to be. If he created us all, he created how are minds are. He created us in a way to believe in him, to not believe in him, or to question him. Only death can tell.
